The Dark Season - Justin Bieber: Seasons

Justin: The first time

I smoked weed was in

my backyard here.

I got super stoned,

and then I realized

I liked weed a lot.

That's when my desire

to smoke weed started,

and then I started

smoking weed for a while.

And then I started getting

really dependent on it,

and that's when I realized

that I had to stop.

I don't think it's bad.

I just think for me,

it can be a dependency.

But, yeah, first time

I smoked weed, I was--

I don't suggest this,

but I was 13.

Yeah, 13. 12 or 13.

♪ Not sure what I was doing

before you ♪

♪ I quit trying

to figure it out ♪

Was there anything

that really concerned me?

Um...

Yeah, I think maybe, like--

maybe the lean,

when he was drinking that.

Can I say that?

There was a time

where I was sipping lean.

I was popping pills,

I was doing molly,

um, you know,

shrooms, everything.

And it was just

an escape for me.

I was just young, you know,

like everybody in the industry

and people in the world

who experiment and do, you know,

just normal growing up things.

But my experience

was in front of cameras,

and I had a different level

of exposure and people.

And, like, I had a lot

of money and a lot of things,

so then you have all these

people around me

just kind of hanging on,

wanting stuff from me,

knowing that, like,

I was living this lifestyle

that they also wanted to live--

drinking, smoking.

I think when you take

somebody very, very young

and they start to get horrible,

crazy, crippling anxiety,

and it goes undiagnosed

and you don't know what it is

that you're feeling,

you start to self-medicate

because it makes you

feel better,

just helping you

not to feel anything.

With all the success

that we've had,

we've also had some

really turbulent times.

( crowd cheering )

When he turned 18, it started

bubbling a little bit.

19 to, what was it, 21?

That was probably

that dark period.

Ryan:

We didn't speak a lot

during some of the times

where he was running amok.

You know, there were a few times

where I saw him, uh,

and it just kind of

hurt my heart seeing him

the way he was, you know?

So I think I just kind of

put a little distance

with that for my own sake.

It would just go without saying

that my position on the path

he was going down--

but at the same time,

just letting him

live his life and learn and,

I don't know,

just do his thing.

I know that Justin knows

a good person from a--

I don't even know if anyone

was a bad person.

It was just kids mostly.

But, like, knows good from bad

and knows right from wrong.

And he's making

some wrong decisions,

but I never really believed

that that person

that the whole world

hated so much was who he is.

Woman: Last week, the singer

was arrested in Miami

for allegedly drag racing,

driving under the influence,

and resisting arrest--

all misdemeanors.

Bieber's attorneys pleaded

not guilty on Wednesday.

Justin: I started

valuing the wrong things

in this business

because there was things

dangling in front of me.

"If I get this, I'll be happy.

If I do this, I'll be happy."

He's gone through a lot

in a very short life.

You don't always agree

with someone's decisions

in that moment.

They're young people making

very big decisions that affect

a lot of people.

And sometimes in those

scenarios, you're gonna make

the right decisions.

Sometimes you're gonna

make wrong.

Justin: And these are things

that I think a lot of people

with secure households

learn at a young age.

I never had that security

in a family.

I never had that consistency.

I never had the reliability

and the accountability

and all these things

that make you understand

the way the world works.

I was a good kid,

but I was still,

like, a shithead.

I was bad in school.

I was always a class clown.

I never really respected

authority like that.

I was, like, a nice kid,

but, like,

coaches didn't really like me

because I was a bad

team player.

You know, looking back,

those things kind of shape

why you feel the way

you feel about yourself.

Like, I would feel like

I'm a bad person.

His mother was a child

when she raised him.

And she was in

a very conflicted

relationship with his dad.

And so there

was chronic stress.

The truth is

is I never had the tools.

My parents never

gave me those tools

to be a good team player.

When you're able

to take responsibility--

I know I did that

and I know that did hurt people

because I did that,

but I can look at that

and not have shame over it.

Hailey:

Justin and I were never

really in each other's lives

until he chose to get sober

and was trying to come

off of the drugs

almost kind of himself.

I decided to stop...

because I felt like

I was, like--

like, brah,

I was, like, dying.

My security and stuff

were coming into the room

at night to check my pulse.

People don't know

how serious it got.

It was legit crazy scary.

I was waking up in the morning

and the first thing I was doing

is popping pills

and smoking a blunt

and starting my day,

you know?

So it just got scary.

I basically said to myself,

I'm like,

"God, if you're real,

you get me through this season

of stopping

these pills and stuff,

and if you do,

I'll do the rest of the work."

And then I did that,

and then I was good from there,

but I never did

the actual work.

I got off the pills,

but I never went to the root

of everything.

So then I just, like,

kind of circled back around,

which most people do.

So I first met Justin

in September, 2014.

He was a wreck.

He had recently

stopped using drugs.

He was anxious,

overwhelmed, not sleeping.

Yeah.

Mental health is so important

to get on top of.

If you have ADHD,

if you have something that, uh,

you don't want to take medicine,

I strongly believe in it.

It's not the only answer,

but it can really help you,

so that's my advice to you.

Anyways, this is the chamber.

So what it does is it fills up

with oxygen and, um--

I really-- I've been struggling

with a lot of anxiety.

And what it does is it

actually--

you get more oxygen

to your brain,

and so it-- it, um,

decreases your--

your stress levels.

I think they're pretty cool.

Hailey: It help bring more

oxygen to your brain,

to your organs.

We have one in our house.

As you can see in the doc,

there was one in the studio.

People are gonna think

he's a crazy person.

People are gonna be like,

"What is this

contraption machine?"

That's some,

like, rich people shit."

I don't know.

- How are you?

- I'm tired. I'm good.

- Let me look at you.

- Can I, um, just address

the camera real quick?

- Please. Go ahead.

- Okay, um, so I am here

in the doctor's office.

And what we are

about to do is, uh,

the nurse is gonna put in an IV,

and it's called NAD.

Um, and basically

what it does is

it is going to flush out

some of the toxins.

Um, I've, uh-- I've abused

my body in the past.

And now I'm just

in recovery process

trying to make sure

I'm taking care of my body

and taking care of, uh,

the vessel that God's given me.

So here we go. You ready?

This is Jose. He's the best.

Such a good guy.

For people who used to have

a drug problem,

when they get sober,

the pleasure centers

of their brain

don't work the same.

So what NAD does is

it actually helps to repair

that part of the brain

and helps to repair

your pleasure centers

to balance them back out.

So I've been struggling

with my, um,

energy for quite some time now

and I just haven't known why.

Uh, and it's just--

I realized, uh,

after a series of tests

that I have what's called

Lyme disease,

which is

a super silent disease

that's not really, um,

very well-known.

Um, doctors-- it's very hard

for doctors to test for it.

Lyme disease is the fastest

growing bacterial infection

in the United States

right now.

And we know that it can cause

a whole spectrum

of neuropsychiatric symptoms.

Mood changes, irritability,

depression, anxiety.

Justin fits the picture

of these symptoms.

Epstein-Barr, which is mono,

uh, I have that, too.

That in itself,

mono makes you really sick

and it makes you feel

really tired.

And some people can't

get out of bed because of it.

He saw a psychiatrist

in Los Angeles

who diagnosed him

with bipolar disorder

and gave him lithium without

ever looking at his brain.

When I looked at his brain,

he wasn't bipolar.

Basically infections have, uh,

played a big part in my acne,

um, and my, uh,

overall toxins in my body,

which just creates

all this stuff.

So it feels good now to know

why I feel so crappy

all the time.

He just felt so sick

and there was no explanation

for what was going on.

So now that we have

all the answers,

and we know what it is,

and we know how to, um,

alleviate it and fix it,

you know,

I think he's honestly

not only healthier

than he's ever been,

but on the road to maintaining

a healthier life

than he's ever had,

which is awesome.

How are you feeling today?

Better? Much better?

I do. I feel--

Yeah, I feel a lot better.

Thank you for asking.

Having got to know Justin,

I know he's got

a really good heart.

And when he's balanced,

he does really amazing things

for other people.

But it's hard to do

amazing things for other people

when your brain's not right.

Justin:

Honestly, I'm committed

to getting better

and committed to doing

whatever I have to do

whether it's

inconvenient or not,

because I know ultimately

it's not only for me,

but being the best me is gonna

help me the best husband,

the best father,

the best friend

I can possibly be.

And for all the fans

that want to enjoy the music

that I make and stuff,

I can't do it

if I'm not healthy,

and I haven't been healthy

for a long time.

Thank you. You're the best.

Thank you so much.

You've helped me so much.

Thank you.

- Hey.

- ( laughing )

- Hello.

- Hey! Hey!

- See how that

revitalizes you?

- Yep.

Hey, let's go!

There's so many people

that have gifts

and an opportunity

to make a change,

and they end up

either losing it or,

you know, um,

using their gifts for...

selfish reasons.

And, you know,

I see so many

talented people just--

almost like it feels like

they're wasting

something so precious.

It's up to us as individuals

to use the gifts

that we've been given,

you know, whatever it may be,

to contribute.

In the song "Changes,"

it actually talks about, um,

how some days we want

to push further,

and some days we feel

like doing nothing.

And that often

comes with our mood

and our attitude

towards life, you know?

And sometimes

when life throws you things

that you can't control,

you know,

naturally your attitude

is to be upset

or to be disappointed

or discouraged.

But, you know,

when you fight through

those feelings that are--

that are just feelings

at the end of the day,

and choose to put

your effort into your work

or into your-- you know,

into your passion or into--

you know,

you find that drive.

But just being here

and forcing myself

to get out of bed,

you know, it might not seem

that hard to some people

to just get out of bed

in the morning,

but it's been really hard for me

to just get out of my bed.

And I know a lot of people

feel that same way,

so I just also want to say

that you're not alone

in that, you know?

There's people that are

going through it with you.

Life is worth living.

And if you're

not gonna give up,

then the only thing to do

is to push forward.

♪ Sometimes I'll go

to sleep early ♪

♪ Sometimes I can't close

my eyes ♪

♪ Sometimes I smile like

it's all good ♪

It feels good to share, man,

to be honest.

It feels good.

I haven't, no.

I haven't talked about

any of this.

Not like this, 'cause I--

I don't think I was ready.

I don't think

I was mature enough

to even take responsibility

and, like, really mean it.

♪ I be going through changes ♪

♪ I'm going through changes ♪

♪ I've been going through ♪

♪ I'm going through ♪